Last night, I got the shocking news of the Year that I was too much for someone. Someone that I have loved and supported for the past 6 years. According to his own words, he does not like me anymore. He feels resentful towards me. He can’t stand to face me or even be in the same environment as me. The best decision for him is to move away from me. That really hurts, truly feeling rejected.

How do you explain that just a couple of weeks ago, your partner said you are the one? He mentioned feeling well about being with you. Was it all a lie or was it a friction of my imagination? How can people change their minds so quickly like they are changing their shirts?

We had hopes and dreams together. Just last week, we discussed where we would move to retire if we won the lottery. We also talked about where we would go if we made a fortune. I asked him 3 months ago what he would do if I had a stroke. Would he put me in a facility? Or would he look after me? He told me that I would look after you of course. I said to him that being a nurse taught me to look after sick people. So, I am well prepared and equipped to look after my loved ones. I will never consider putting them in a care facility. I will look after you if you become disabled or have a stroke. I thought that we would be together for the rest of our lives. That was the grand plan.

Last night, we had a long discussion about our finances. We talked about how to cope since I no longer have a full-time job. We have a trip planned to France in less than 2 weeks. I have bought the package so we can spend some quality time together reconnecting. He inquired about how do we cope? I explained that I had it under control. I had booked some jobs to get extra cash for the trip. I had already booked the travel ticket and hotel had been paid for. All that is left is our spending money, still, that did not satisfy him and made him feel better. He decided against all odds that I was not the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life, even though we are both over 50 years old

This breakup is going to put a financial strain on my budget. I will have to handle all the bills for the month by myself. Additionally, I will need to change names on the accounts.

Am I ready for that? Not sure that I surely give it a try since I am not a quitter. I know today can be a rough ride, but tomorrow is another day (Gone with the Wind- movie).

Breaking up, especially after investing years together, is deeply painful. But I’ve learned that while you can’t control the end of a relationship. I have to accept that I must rely on myself. Only I can fulfill my dreams and goals.

When a long-term relationship ends suddenly, it can feel like the ground beneath you has disappeared. After six years, you’d think you know someone deeply. The abruptness of a breakup can be especially hard to process. Looking back, I realize that relationships often end due to a series of small issues. These issues are overlooked rather than one dramatic event. For us, it was a mix of growing in different directions. We had unmet expectations. We both took each other for granted over time. It’s natural to want answers or a sense of closure. However, sometimes closure means accepting that people change. So do their needs.

How do I cope?

1. Accept the Emotions: It’s natural to feel a mix of emotions—sadness, anger, confusion, and even relief. Allow yourself to grieve without self-judgment. I am not sure how I feel at the moment. The most I can think of is disappointment, I have been let down again, this makes me feel cold inside.
2. Reconnect with Myself: Long relationships often mean compromise and routine. Now is the time to rebuild my identity by empowering myself. I still have my career to fall back on. Yes, I can immerse myself in my career and make sure that I have enough money to keep afloat.
3. Set New Personal Goals: Working on new personal or professional goals can bring a renewed sense of purpose. These goals don’t have to be grand; even small accomplishments can help rebuild confidence and excitement for the future.
4. Assessing my Finances: To start, I need to create a budget to evaluate my current income, expenses, and savings. Cut out unnecessary expenses which is wise to reduce spending where possible. If needed, seek financial advice. This guidance can help restructure finances post-breakup, especially when we share recurring expenses.